Amazing achievements of summer.

Yes, you're quite right. I've been a big fat slacker lately. An unexplained non-presence. Two months of shamefully low output and what do I have to show for it?

Well, I have a new shiny Lady Friend! She is totally wrong for me. She is a vegan and she's very grown up and she's a church-going Christian and she plays Dungeons and Dragons. But she's also kinda awesome.

I started an internet business that has made several hundred dollars profit! Not the kind of work I expected to be getting into, but I'm really getting stuck into this jewellery game. I've even started advertising some of the jewellery I've made myself, which is a little bit scary but awesome.

I turned 23. I am now well into my twenties and have no excuse. Uhhhhhhhhh.

Thanks to Lady Friend, I am beginning to learn how to prepare food without dairy, which is a very new thing for me. With no disrespect to those filthy hippie vegans, dairy is my absolute favourite thing ever and I don't think I could ever give it up. Milk goes in coffee, in chocolate, in chocolate, in cereal, in tea, in pastry goods, in ice-cream, in glasses of cold refreshing milk... it's pretty much in everything. And when it's not, there's cheese. Which - I'm totally not exaggerating - is the closest thing to a miracle that has ever happened. Cheese brings happiness to everybody, including angry ferrets.

Behold.

I would do an-y-thing for cheese.

But, Lady Friend won't eat the stuff. And so, for her pretty sake, I am learning how not to serve it to her. She has informed me that there is a way of making "vegan cheese sauce" which involves dissolving dried flakes of yeast. That might sound gross, but if you think about it, no less gross than a coagulated lump of fermented milk fat.

Coagulated lumps of fermented milk fat. Oooohhhh.

Anyway, for our first trick we made a pumpkin pie using coconut cream. It was ludicrously good. Here it was (but isn't anymore - sorry):

By way of explanation, I put pecans on it, then decided it should be decorated like a clock. Lady Friend counted the pecans and announced that it would have to be a 13-hour clock because I'm a bit stupid. But that's okay.